Why You Should Call The Worry Help Line

The Worry Club Help Line 1-866-worry4u provides confidential emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including worry, stress and other . We are here for you if you’re worried about something, feel upset or confused, or you just want to talk to someone. What happens when I call The Worry Help LineWhen you phone, we will will not judge you or tell you what to do. We might ask you how you are feeling and invite you to talk about your feelings. We give you the time and space that you need to talk if you want to. “The person at the other end of the phone gave time to me to speak to me and asked me gentle questions and waited for my response. It made me feel that I wasn’t the only one that was going through it, really, which helped me quite a lot. At the end of the phone call I did feel better- not better enough to be out of the crisis but better in that I felt better that I had spoken to somebody about it. I didn’t feel quite so isolated.” “I really liked the way the woman dealt with my problems. She was very calm and did not judge. She seemed to understand and appeared generally interested and sympathetic with my state. I like the way you deal with things in a personal and anonymous way, as it is very difficult for me to talk about my ongoing depression, but I never feel pressured to do so or say anything I am not happy revealing.” Worry caller Why do people call you? People contact us for completely individual reasons. Commonly mentioned are relationships, work, money, stress and feeling alone. “It is like a sort of safety blanket to me, as I know that I can always talk to someone who is not connected to anything and will not pre-judge me or the situation I am in. The time I contacted The Worry Club was when I had all my family around me, was in a loving environment and was completely ’safe’. However, sometimes this can be the most lonely time. I am just so glad my mother gave me the 1-866-worry4u number; otherwise I don’t know what would have happened.” “People suggested to me that I call The Worry Club if I felt desperate at night. I was feeling very upset, I didn’t know what to do. So I just rang the Worry Club to see what they would say, to see if they could help me.” “At the end of that day everyone deals differently with their own problems. Everybody’s different.” Why don’t people talk to friends and family instead? Some people do not have the support of friends or family. Others do but find that talking to someone neutral can be beneficial. “It can be quite frightening when you’re very emotionally lonely and you can’t sleep and you can’t call anyone because you don’t want to disturb people and worry them. If you called your friends at 3am in the morning, you would worry them and you might annoy them a bit. I don’t think I could cope with that either. And sometimes fiends and family can’t be neutral because they’re very involved with you and when you’ve been ill so long, they may lose patience. It’s good to be able to talk to someone who’s kind of neutral and not caught up in it all.” “I found talking things through very helpful, especially at a time when I had exhausted the ears of friends and family. It was helpful to have someone calm and neutral and there at all times of the day. The troubles and crises you find yourself in, all seem to overwhelm you at a time when a friend or relative would find it inconvenient. Also, sometimes feelings that overwhelm you and seem insurmountable at night, often seem far more cope-able in the morning. For that reason, talking to The Worry Help Line is very helpful because they don’t continue the problem over the time phase that you need, as a friend might.” How do people feel after they have called “It was helpful, every time I spoke to anybody it helped relieve tension and frustration.” “By my phone call I gained a lot more confidence to be able to lift my head up and try to carry on with life for the sake of my children.” “I think calling The Worry Help Line gave me the confidence in me. The fact that somebody understood, did not criticize, did not palm me off, did not judge or advise- I mean they never really advised me to do anything in particular, but gave me back my confidence in me as a person. And that gave me the confidence to go on.” I am thinking of calling. Should I? If you think you might benefit from confidential emotional support then we are here for you. We will not judge you if you call. We understand that sometimes it can feel difficult to pick up the telephone. But once you take that frist step and call…you will begin to feel relief. “I would tell anyone to call The Worry Help Line because they’ve always helped me and you haven’t got anything to lose. If they don’t help you, it’s just a phone call, you don’t have to tell anyone that you’ve called them and it’s all anonymous. It’s worth a try. Even if you aren’t on the point of depression, you can still be going through immense pain and distress- almost unbearable - and the worry help line folks are fantastic at easing your pain.” “It’s a step on the road to wherever you want to go. I was feeling very depressed and very lonely, my life was just going round and round in a circle. By phoning 1-866-worry4u it was the first step on the way forward.”Are you confidential? Everything a caller says is confidential to The Worry Help Line unless: We have informed consent from a caller to pass on information We call an ambulance because a caller appears to be incapable of making rational decisions for him or herself We are passed information about acts of terrorism or bomb warnings A caller attacks or threatens volunteers Why is there a fee to speak to you? We charge a fee for our services because we believe what we offer to you is valuable and helpful. This is our business, and we determined the fee to be very affordable. We charge 1.99 a minute, with the first 5 minutes free. This means you can speak for as long as you wish or as little as you want, or call as often as you need. The point is, we actually save you money. No driving to find a local free therapist or community service organization, no traffic, no paper work, insurance forms, private and confidential, helpful and available 27/7. Lets face it, your stress and worries is making your life hard, and it affects your life and those around you.. For just a few dollars, you can speak to a professional that can help make your life more manageable, help you feel better and offer you a neutral ear to help you regain your life. We are here to help you worry less so you can enjoy life more!! What Areas Do you cover for help We can speak on any topic, below are some examples, but not limited to. Alcohol, Nicotine and Other Drugs Addiction, anger, banning, behavior, coping, risk takers, health consequences, gender differences, struggle against recovery, study of attempts to quit, nicotine freedom, reasons people smoke, quitting, recovering, concern with drinking, influences of smoking, teens, increases stress, treatment and prevention, understanding, visual imagery used to quit, how to stop Cultural Competence Multicultural society, hate crimes. Cyber-affairs Crossing the line online, cyber affairs, cyber romance, url addiction. Anxiety and DepressionAnxiety disorders, confidence, cabin fever, depression and retirement, panic attacks, depressed people seek negative results, placebo effect and antidepressants, roots of optimism, self-inflicted violence, improving with therapeutic bond, OCD, women experience more than men DivorceBefore you decide, child custody and visitation, coping with angry children, choosing a new partner, what went wrong, four stages of divorce work, letting go of anger, divorce mediation, thoughts for divorcing parents, emotional impact, dad’s involvement helps. Gays, Lesbians, TransgenderCyber love, defining orientation, information off the net, suicidal friend, hate crimes, homophobia cause, HIV among lesbians, parents and children’s orientation, AID pandemic, intimacy group for gay men. Holiday Stress, Anxiety and WorryHolidays need not be a pain. No matter how well we may have weathered our basic training, nothing can fully prepare us for the front lines of family gatherings. We’re in the thick of it, dodging live ammunition, and fighting the urge to return to our old, reliable patterns that helped us to survive while we were growing up. Loss, Midlife Crisis, Aging and BereavementFinding forgiveness, fear of aging, growing old, losing a loved one or a love pet, midlife crisis. MenMen and grief, income and penis size, avoid being a statistic, socialization vs. genes, dad’s involvement helps, are women the future. ParentingAnd baby makes three, parenting pitfalls, can you spoil an infant, child custody and visitation, anger and divorce, dysfunctional families, firstborns and flashbacks, motherhood, maternal depression, boys and girls and math, mother-child bond, mother’s influence on child’s problem solving abilities, Munchausen Syndrome, sex education, co-parenting, American families changing, labeling children gifted, OCD and tics in children, dad’s involvement helps, work and family stress, working mothers, can you spoil a child. Personal GrowthHappiness, anger, character, giving and receiving feedback, understanding and getting support, hypnosis for writers, journal writing and self help, ethics in psychotherapy, clinical hypnotherapy, when your therapist screws up. PsychotherapyBreaches in professional ethics, can therapy help, choosing a psychotherapist, diagnosis, a layman’s guide, pathological narcissism, using popular therapies, self-help, effective decision making, taking control of what you know, violence and the power of words. RelationshipsFighting, gossip, gender, well-being, choosing a new partner, co-dependency, developing a relationship plan, family feuds, finding the right person, good sex, searching for perfection, is love enough, stuck in a relationship, making your marriage work, marital therapy, men and women differ in tactics, relationship with parents impact, transforming your relationship, violence and the power of words, when helping hurts, are you an aggressive driver. Self Confidence BuildingFeeling like you lack self confidence. This can impact how you deal with work, people, social gatherings and more. Let us help you build a better you. Sex and LustWays to love your mate, sex and love addiction, challenging our thoughts about sex, crossing the line online, long term relationships and sex, good sex, age and sexual activity, how to tell if it’s love or addiction, TeensTeens and cyberspace, dealing with teenagers, drastic weight losses, hatred and youth violence, heavy metal music and suicide, high school involvement, talking to your children about violence, when a friend has an eating disorder, math problems, moods and depressions, effects of stressing competition, tattoos and body piercing, teenage pregnancy, peer pressure, chemical free teens are Traumatic StressAdults molested as children, tips to help you sleep, adapting to blows, co-victims of homicide, date/acquaintance rape prevention, self-love and school shooting, grief, hate crimes, mass suicides, memories of childhood sexual abuse, rape recovery, homicide recovery, sex offenders and treatment, stalking and harassment, suicide, trauma information near you. WomenDepression and creativity, feminist therapists, hormonal shifts, women have higher rate of heart disease if unknowledgeable, memory, menopause, motherhood, rape recovery, risk checklist for women, abortion. WorkAddictive organizations, career burnout, workaholism, job loss as an opportunity for change, career transitions, choosing a career path, career counseling, career couples, experimental and heroic leadership, hope, leading, liars and schemers, harassment, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, recovering from job loss, salary growth, self-organization. www.theworryclub.com

The Worry Guru knocks anxiety out of you with good ol’ common sense

The Worry Guru knocks anxiety out of you with good ol’ common sense Never on the face of the Earth has there been a bigger worry wart than me, so says my tormented mother. It’s all her fault, God love her. She once used to fret over things as minor as us kids hanging out with a neighbor who had a teensy sore on her knee. “Could be impetigo,” Mom would whisper and frown. “That’s the first step to gangrene, which if you come down with you’ll lose your leg, which if you lose, you’ll be in a wheelchair, which if you are…” And so on. Worry is the big “W.” It kills, it makes people sick and crazy and is the hamster wheel of misery. Bonnie S. Burns professes to be the world’s top worrier and had no idea how to solve her problem besides rolling around in blankets of fret and angst. I called her hotline ((866) worry4u or (866) 967-7948), first to make sure she wasn’t a get-rich scammer or some sort of cyber-evangelist out to get money from those who can’t shake the worry rattles from their heads. Instead, I found her to be what she claimed: “a middle-aged, nice Jewish woman” with true concern for others. Sure, she made her weakness her business, but to me, that’s pure genius. In an interview, she shared many of the top calls and worries coming into her hotline and how many are related to relationships, those twists and rivulets of the heart that tangle, overflow, dry up and drive us crazy. Here’s a recent question posed to the Worry Guru: Question: My son really wants the new Xbox. The game is very expensive and not really in the budget we set aside. I know he’ll be very upset since it’s the only gift he requested. Worry Guru: How old is your son? Lady on line: 17. Guru: Does he do well in school? Lady: Yes. He does, but has few friends. I think he’s a bit shy. Guru: If he does well in school, has little social life and is healthy, tell him to get a job and pay for his own Xbox. At 17, he should understand money and budgets. He will also appreciate it more … and it can build his self-esteem as he makes his own money. I asked Bonnie Burns, who has fleeced most of the wool of her worry, if there was anything in life NOT worth obsessing over. She came through like a pro: Things we have no control over. Getting everything done on lists. Put the past behind you and move on. Do not worry about your hair. Worry is different for everyone. You can’t avoid worry. It is part of life. If you have to deal with it, find a solution for it, such as getting help. Now, for the top ways Burns deals with worry: I realize some worries I can’t control. I play a video game on my portable PlayStation. I read. I help people who worry. I watch old movies. I wash my car. Keeps my body active. I share my worries with a friend. I daydream. I use humor - lots of it. I shop. That means I buy a sports watch, not a Rolex. For more, visit www.theworryclub.com or http://www.worry-help-line.com. by Susan Reinhardt http://www.susanreinhardt.com/

Holiday Blues

Having trouble getting your merry on? You’re in good company. What’s billed as the “most wonderful time of the year” can bring out the blues in anyone worried about money, dreading a family get-together, mourning the recent loss of a loved one or feeling overwhelmed or lonely — in other words, a whole lot of us. But a River Edge psychologist insists we can be happy anyway. “Happiness is more determined by our minds than by our circumstances,” says Alan Gettis, whose 30-year private practice gave him the impetus to write “The Happiness Solution: Finding Joy and Meaning in an Upside Down World.” While we should address circumstances we can change — like putting a limit on the holiday spending-and-eating orgy — Gettis argues that we can gain mastery even over issues that seem to be out of our hands. His magic antidote to holiday blues is a mixture of realistic expectations and positive actions. “A lot of people compare their reality to what they imagine is ideal,” he says. “But things won’t be perfect. Family members and friends will not miraculously be different because of the holidays. The same sister will be critical. The same uncle will be drunk and obnoxious. People will arrive late, and the turkey will get dried out.” Naturally, these things will make us feel sad or angry. “Allow yourself your feelings, but decide not to get stuck there,” Gettis says. Instead of a pity party, do something nice for someone else and for yourself. Feeling overwhelmed? Delegate some holiday responsibilities. “If you’ve baked the Christmas cookies for 15 years, maybe this year you should ask your daughter to bake them,” he suggests. Instead of worrying that all your holiday preparations won’t get done in time or to perfection, remember the Japanese proverb “Even monkeys fall out of trees.” “Worry is futile,” Gettis reminds us. “It doesn’t affect outcome. So let it go and keep letting it go, and you’ll enjoy the holidays more.” It might even make you healthier. A recent University of Texas study of more than 2,500 seniors shows that positive emotions not only help people handle stress better but even translate into lower blood pressure. Dr. Lauren D. LaPorta, chairwoman of psychiatry at St. Joseph’s Regional Medical Center in Paterson, groups sources of holiday stress into “The Four F’s” of fantasies, family, food and finances. “This year, take a moment to reflect on these areas in your life,” she advises. “How do they affect you, and what steps can you take to make this holiday a less stressful one?” One step may be a strategy planned in advance to deal with an expected situation. For example, Gettis advises a mental pep talk to help you cope with a badly behaved guest. “Tell yourself that this is a time-limited event and it will pass. Say to yourself, ‘I won’t allow this person to have power over me and ruin my holiday.’ Then, choose to minimize your direct activity with him or her. You are not trapped,” he says. LaPorta acknowledges that family dynamics “can be more tangled than that old string of Christmas lights and much harder to unravel,” and it may not be possible to simply avoid relatives who cause us stress. This was true for one agitated patient of Gettis’, who could not find a way out of spending every Thanksgiving with her “toxic” extended family. Gettis helped her find a compromise. On the Saturday before Thanksgiving, she started a tradition to invite over the people with whom she would prefer to spend the holiday. Come Thanksgiving, she’s not as stressed. Zen wisdom. Gettis is fond of stories that convey how to turn inner happiness up a realistic notch or two. They form the backbone of his book, which was named the best psychology/mental health book of 2006 by USA Book News. He calls its parables “a blend of cognitive behavioral therapy and Zen wisdom.” One of its messages is to avoid dwelling in the past and worrying about the future. “Pay attention to the present moment and what’s going right,” he says. “We always rubberneck around a tragedy or disaster instead of what’s good. Did you wake up without a headache? Did the car start? There are a million things going right that we don’t pay attention to.” So while it’s natural to miss a newly departed loved one at holiday gatherings, concentrate on the loved ones who are there. “Paradoxical as it sounds, grief and holidays are a lot alike,” says Susan Apollon, a psychologist and author of “Touched by the Extraordinary.” “They both help us detach from trivial things and focus on what’s important, what’s real. Open your mind and heart this year and see what happens.” And if you need to leave room for a moment to cry, go right ahead. New connections For many people, the holiday season magnifies a feeling of loneliness. Gettis advises positive action: making new connections so the next time will be different. “There are so many possibilities, from meet-up groups online to volunteer services, hiking groups and book clubs,” he says. Volunteering is his favored way to shift from a negative inner focus to a positive outlook. “Giving generously of oneself is an essential ingredient of the happiness solution,” he says. And he practices what he preaches: The psychologist is active in half a dozen charitable causes and has pledged to give them all profits from his book, which costs $18.95 at amazon.com, thehappinesssolu tion.com and stores including Bookends in Ridgewood, Shaw’s in Westwood and Womrath’s in Tenafly. But there’s one more ingredient Gettis wants us to sprinkle on our holiday fare: a healthy helping of humor. While it may be tempting to cry about a less-than-harmonious family affair, laughter does more to lighten the sting. “Develop a ‘humor list’ to deal with a difficult relative or a stressful situation,” Gettis advises. “Make a list of the top five things that make you laugh — images, memories and so on. By vividly recalling or picturing an item or two from your list when needed, you can defuse the situation.” If you feel blue Get out and about to holiday parties and events, and invite family and friends over. Help others. Contact the Volunteer Center of Bergen County (201-489-9454), the United Way (201-261-2806 in Bergen, 973-279-8900 in Passaic, 973-993-1160 in Morris) or schools or houses of worship to find opportunities. Limit the eggnog. Too much alcohol can lower your spirits. Accept your feelings. It’s OK not to feel jolly during the holidays. Confide in someone. If you can’t talk to a person you know, call the trained listeners at the Worry Club’s national hot line at 866-WORRY-4U. Talking about your feelings can help you understand them better. Recognize warning signs of depression. Holiday blues are temporary, but depression can linger unless you get help. Signs of depression include sadness that won’t go away; loss of interest or pleasure; frequent crying; feeling restless or tired all the time; feeling worthless, helpless or guilty; thoughts of death or suicide. If elders seem blue Include them at get-togethers. Take into account their needs for transportation or special diets. Offer help with shopping and preparations for holiday events in their homes. Encourage them to talk about how they feel. Acknowledge difficult feelings, including a sense of loss if family or friends have died or moved away. Many older people don’t realize when they’re depressed, so if you suspect depression, you may need to bring it up more than once. Let your loved one know depression is a medical illness and is nothing to be ashamed of. Source: Northjersey.com E-mail: leichman@northjersey.com www.worry-help-line.com www.theworryclub.com 1-866-worry4u

Season of worry?

Season of Worry? (latest article about The Worry Club in The Charlotte Post) Deck the halls with boughs of worry, fa la la la, la, la la la la. Tis the season to be stressed out, fa la la la la, la la la la. What should be the happiest time of year often becomes the most stressful and for some people the most depressing time. Many people feel they have nowhere to turn to seek comfort or support. Most of their friends and family are in the same situation and simply don't have the time to lend an ear. The Worry Club offers help to those in need of emotional support. The Worry Club offers a stress relief service not only with online help but also with their worry hotline at 1-866-WORRY4U. "Many worries are worsened by the fact that there simply isn't anybody to talk to about them, even if it is just to get concerns off one's chest. We offer to take on the burden of your stress and worries. We listen to your worries, so you can worry less and enjoy life more," says Bonnie Burns, creator of The Worry Club. The professional worriers at The Worry Club.com, worry-help-line.com and the WORRY4U hotline are educated and trained in the mental health field. They are excellent listeners, willing to lend an ear to any tales of woe or stress and relieving worries with a sense of humor and pragmatism. In addition, The Worry Club web site offers a range of free online stress relief games, ideal for a little pick-me-up during the stressful and even depressing holiday season. But why is the holiday season depressing for some and joyful for others? According to Medicinenet.com, sadness is a personal feeling and what makes one person sad may not make another person sad. Typical sources of holiday sadness include: Stress Fatigue Unrealistic expectations Over-commercialization Financial stress The inability to be with one's family and friends Mental health experts say that there are ways to ward off the holiday blues. According to the Medical reporter web site, if people keep their expectations for the holiday reasonable, avoid excess drinking and let go of the past, they have a chance of having a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Also, the site suggests that doing something for others is a way to raise one's spirits or try something new and celebrate the holidays in a way that you've never done before. By Cheri cheris.hodges@thecharlottepost.com www.worry-help-line.com www.theworryclub.com 1-866-worry4u

Holiday Stress Brings Anxiety and Abuse

Unrealistic Pressures Can Result in Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Family Violence Nov. 24, 2004 — The holiday season brings with it images of glittering parties, family get-togethers and a festive social whirlwind. But these same images often mask a number of serious mental health issues that also can come with the holiday season. And while many people do enjoy the holiday activities during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year's, for others the season is marked by an increase in depression, alcohol and substance abuse, suicide and domestic violence. "We see more of it in police reports and hospital emergency room visits," said Jennifer Taylor, clinical psychologist at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School in Belmont, Mass. Perfection vs. Reality Expectations about holiday events, often based on the unrealistic portrayals of healthy, affluent families from television and advertisements, can fuel anxieties during the season. "Each individual needs to think about how realistic this is," said Taylor. "When people try to live up to that and it's not realistic, people become anxious and try to numb their feelings with alcohol or substance abuse. This can lead to domestic violence." Seasonal pressures come from a wide range of other sources. Financial obligations mount as holiday spending runs amok, final exams and grade reports put students and parents on edge, and increased demands on time and energy can sap the strength from the most resilient party-goer. "There are tons of extra demands," said Nadine J. Kaslow, professor and chief psychologist at the Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta. "People feel like they want to do it just right. They run themselves ragged." SAD, or seasonal affective disorder, also afflicts some individuals during this time of year. SAD is a type of depression associated with the low light conditions experienced during long, dark winter months. Redefining Family Ideals Families are usually a focal point for holiday anxieties. And when family members are serving in the military overseas, have died in the past year, or are estranged from the family, the pressure to have a perfect holiday gathering can cause ordinary social tension to become unbearable. "There are a lot of complicated family dynamics — divorced parents, or deciding between spending time with one family or another," said Kaslow. "Families are redefined now," said Taylor, noting that changes in family structures like gay family members with long-term partners are forcing people to reassess their ideals. "There have been a lot of changes." Ghosts of Christmas Past Before holiday stress reaches a critical point, experts advise taking proactive steps to minimize anxiety and enjoy the holidays. "Be realistic," said Kaslow, noting that many people's goals for the holidays are based on unhealthy or unattainable standards. "You're not going to lose 50 pounds before Christmas to fit into that sexy little dress." Kaslow also explains that many dubious expectations for the season come from nostalgic memories of holidays past. "Focusing on what used to happen won't help. Look toward the future." This is not the time of year to forget about the basics of staying healthy, Kaslow added. Eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep are even more important now. "And whatever your normal form of exercise is, you should keep it up," she said. Alcohol and drug use often exacerbate holiday pressures. "Drink alcohol moderately, or not at all," said Kaslow. "Alcohol is a depressant," said Taylor. "Even things like cocaine — they might feel good initially, but then there's a crash." Financial pressures can be managed by taking an objective look at your budget. "Really think about who needs that gift," said Kaslow, adding that many families are paying for their holiday excesses well into the new year. "Just like you don't want to be house poor, you don't want to be holiday poor." For those people who feel their holiday stress is getting the better of them, Kaslow advises seeking out the assistance of a professional therapist. "If you notice that you're really getting depressed, talk to someone about it or get some help." Source: MARC LALLANILLA ABC News www.worry-help-line.com

Holiday Stress

Thanksgiving and the Winter holidays can be filled with busy schedules, parties, shopping, laughter, but also there can be tension and stress. For many people, the holidays mean time off from regular activities, while sharing good times and good food with family and friends. For others, this can be a frustraing and anxiety-provoking time, due to changes in work and exercise habits and dietary concnerns. For many, holidays are shared with family, friends and loved ones, yet for many this can be a difficult or dreaded time. At home, some feel weighted down by old rules or expectations. Feeling compelled to live up to family expectations which may even be dysfunctional can leave one feeling angry, guilty or worthless. Under stress, it may be difficult to avoid returning to old behavior patterns which you know to be ultimately harmful, such as over or under eating. There are a number of things you can do for yourself during the upcoming holiday season: * It might help to have a heart-to-heart with your parent(s) about your concerns. There may be a need to revise old rules which no longer fit. A conflict of values and ideas is normal. If you can stay out of a blaming or victim mode, you will feel more in control and maintain a clearer perspective regarding your differences. * It may also be helpful to stay in contact with your roommate or campus friends. Sometimes talking with a friend can be a great relief. * For many, it is necessary to find a quiet place to be with their inner self. This could involve writing a letter, reading or meditating. Keeping a journal of your feelings over holiday periods may help you to get a grip on your emotional responses. Seeing more clearly will empower you to act, not react. Food, Food and More Food! The holidays are normally a time to celebrate with food, traditional family dishes and lavish desserts. Eating is very much a part of the holidays and causes anxiety for many of us because we are afraid that we will overeat or not eat as "healthy" as we normally do. How much can we eat? What will the scale read after the holidays? It is important to take care of your physical body, to exercise and to eat well. Eating is essential to living, and food is part of the holiday season for most of us. Sometimes we overeat at holiday food tables. Is is much better to use moderation instead of starvation as a response. Guilt is a waste of energy, and preoccupation with certain foods can be unhealthy. Try to eat slowly and enjoy the food that you are eating. Instead of using food to deal with stress and tension, consider exercise, fresh air, taking time for yourself, talking wtih friends and meditation. Remind yourself that avoiding your feelings or soothing yourself with food or alcohol will not be helpful. www.worry-help-line.com

Holiday Depression and Stress

The holiday season for most people is a fun time of the year filled with parties, celebrations and social gatherings with family and friends. For many people, it is a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, and anxiety. What causes holiday blues? Sadness is a truly personal feeling. What makes one person feel sad may not affect another person. Typical sources of holiday sadness include: stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization, financial stress, and the inability to be with one's family and friends.

Balancing the demands of shopping, parties, family obligations, and house guests may contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed and increased tension. People who do not view themselves as depressed may develop stress responses, such as: headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating, and insomnia.

Others may experience post-holiday sadness after New Year's/January 1st. This can result from built-up expectations, disappointments from the previous year, coupled with stress and fatigue.

Tips for coping with holiday stress and depression: Make realistic expectations for the holiday season. Set realistic goals for yourself. Pace yourself. Do not take on more responsibilities than you can handle. Make a list and prioritize the important activities. This can help make holiday tasks more manageable. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not put all your energy into just one day (i.e., Thanksgiving Day, New Year's Eve). The holiday cheer can be spread from one holiday event to the next. Live and enjoy the present. Look to the future with optimism. Don't set yourself up for disappointment and sadness by comparing today with the good old days of the past. If you are lonely, try volunteering some time to help others. Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations; going window shopping without buying and watching the winter weather whether it's a snowflake, or a raindrop. Limit your drinking, since excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression. Try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a new way. Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out and make new friends. Make time to contact a long lost friend or relative and spread some holiday cheer. Make time for yourself! Let others share the responsibilities of holiday tasks. Keep track of your holiday spending. Over-spending can lead to depression when the bills arrive after the holidays are over. Extra bills with little budget to pay them can lead to further stress and depression. Is the environment and reduced daylight a factor in winter time sadness? Animals react to the changing season with changes in mood and behavior. People change behaviors as well, when there is less sunlight. Most people find they eat and sleep slightly more in winter time and dislike the dark mornings and short days. For some, however, symptoms are severe enough to disrupt their lives and to cause considerable distress. These people are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Research studies have that found phototherapy is effective in treating people that suffer from SAD. Phototherapy is a treatment involving a few hours of exposure to intense light.

The professional worriers at The Worry Club.com, worry-help-line.com and the WORRY4U hotline are educated and trained in the mental health field. They are excellent listeners, willing to lend an ear to any tales of woe or stress and relieving worries with a sense of humor and pragmatism. In addition, The Worry Club website offers a range of free online stress relief games, ideal for a little pick-me-up during the stressful and even depressing holiday season.

Stress, depression and the holidays: 12 tips for coping

Stress, depression and the holidays: 12 tips for coping Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and affect your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression. Holiday Stress, Anxiety and Worry Holiday Depression 12 Steps For Coping During The Holiday Stress For some people, the holidays bring unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a perfect Hallmark holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands — work, parties, shopping, baking, cleaning, caring for elderly parents or kids on school break, and scores of other chores. So much for peace and joy, right? Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would. The trigger points of holiday stress Holiday stress and depression are often the result of three main trigger points. Understanding these trigger points can help you plan ahead on how to accommodate them. Here are the three areas that commonly trigger holiday stress or depression: Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any time. But tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family misunderstandings and conflict can intensify — especially if you're all thrust together for several days. Conflicts are bound to arise with so many needs and interests to accommodate. On the other hand, if you're facing the holidays without a loved one, you may find yourself especially lonely or sad. Finances. Like your relationships, your financial situation can cause stress at any time of the year. Overspending during the holidays on gifts, travel, food and entertainment can increase stress as you try to make ends meet while ensuring that everyone on your gift list is happy. Physical demands. The strain of shopping, attending social gatherings and preparing holiday meals can wipe you out. Feeling exhausted increases your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. High demands, stress, lack of exercise, and overindulgence in food and drink — these are all ingredients for holiday illness. 12 pre-emptive strategies for holiday stress When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Take steps to help prevent normal holiday depression from progressing into chronic depression. Try these tips: Acknowledge your feelings. If a loved one has recently died or you aren't near your loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness or grief. It's OK now and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season. Seek support. If you feel isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. They can offer support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a community or religious function. Getting involved and helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your social circle. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don't have to go it alone. Don't be a martyr. Be realistic. As families change and grow, traditions often change as well. Hold on to those you can and want to. But understand in some cases that may no longer be possible. Perhaps your entire extended family can't gather together at your house. Instead, find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such as sharing pictures, e-mails or videotapes. Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for relationships. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are, they're feeling the effects of holiday stress, too. Stick to a budget. Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget. If you don't, you could feel anxious and tense for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big food-shopping trip. That'll help prevent a last-minute scramble to buy forgotten ingredients — and you'll have time to make another pie, if the first one's a flop. Allow extra time for travel so that delays won't worsen your stress. Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can't do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you'll avoid feeling resentful and overwhelmed. If it's really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some indulgence is OK, but overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for physical activity. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it's the bathroom, for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that clears your mind, slows your breathing and restores your calm. Rethink resolutions. Resolutions can set you up for failure if they're unrealistic. Don't resolve to change your whole life to make up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose only those resolutions that help you feel valuable and provide more than only fleeting moments of happiness. Forget about perfection. Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in real life, people don't usually resolve problems within an hour or two. Something always comes up. You may get stuck late at the office and miss your daughter's school play, your sister may dredge up an old argument, you may forget to put nuts in the cake, and your mother may criticize how you and your partner are raising the kids. All in the same day. Expect and accept imperfections. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You may have depression. Have it both ways Remember, one key to minimizing holiday stress and depression is knowing that the holidays can trigger stress and depression. Accept that things aren't always going to go as planned. Then take active steps to manage stress and depression during the holidays. You may actually enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could. www.worry-help-line.com

De-Stress the Holidays with The Worry Club

Holiday Stress, Anxiety and Worry Holiday Depression 12 Steps For Coping During The Holiday Stress Holidays need not be a pain. No matter how well we may have weathered our basic training, nothing can fully prepare us for the front lines of family gatherings. We’re in the thick of it, dodging live ammunition, and fighting the urge to return to our old, reliable patterns that helped us to survive while we were growing up. De-stress the holidays with The Worry Club. Help is now available to those who suffer from holiday stress and depression. What should be the happiest time of year often becomes the most stressful and in some people’s lives is the most depressing time of year. Many people feel they have nowhere to turn to seek comfort or support. Most of their friends and family are in the same situation and simply don’t have the time to lend an ear. The Worry Club offers help to those in need of emotional support. The Worry Club offers a stress relief service not only with online help but also with their worry hotline at 1-866-WORRY4U. “Many worries are worsened by the fact that there simply isn’t anybody to talk to about them, even if it is just to get concerns off one’s chest. We offer to take on the burden of your stress and worries. We listen to your worries, so you can worry less and enjoy life more,” says Bonnie Burns, creator of The Worry Club. No matter how well we may have weathered our basic training, nothing can fully prepare us for the front lines of family gatherings. We’re in the thick of it, dodging live ammunition, and fighting the urge to return to our old, reliable patterns that helped us to survive while we were growing up. We may have mastered our relationship skills in one-on-one relationships. HOLIDAY AND FAMILY The Dos and Don'ts Don't cling to visions of a Norman Rockwell family moment. That happens only in paintings. Do consider family problems when planning celebratory gatherings. If your brother drinks too much, avoid a dinner party and throw a dry holiday brunch instead. Don't travel out of guilt. Have an honest conversation with your family about how difficult it is for you to make a trip during the holidays. Suggest visiting, say, in February, when you'll have more time to really see one another. If they don't understand, consider that there may be something wrong on their end. Do be flexible with your partner. Some traditions are definitely worth fighting for—but you may be able to let others go. Don't force yourself to revel. If office parties or family gatherings are painful, honor your need to celebrate in your own private way. Don't isolate yourself. Seek out kindred souls and spend time with them. If you're newly divorced, join a support group, volunteer at a homeless shelter, or shop for elderly neighbors so you have some human contact. The professional worriers at The Worry Club.com, worry-help-line.com and the WORRY4U hotline are educated and trained in the mental health field. They are excellent listeners, willing to lend an ear to any tales of woe or stress and relieving worries with a sense of humor and pragmatism. In addition, The Worry Club website offers a range of free online stress relief games, ideal for a little pick-me-up during the stressful and even depressing holiday season. www.worry-help-line.com

The Worry Club Takes A Serious Look At Worry

The Worry Club Takes A Serious Look At Worry The Worry Club knows worry, stress, tension can cause concern and strife in your life. So, besides the use of humor to help relieve some worries, we also take the serious side of worry and offer our new web site www.worry-help-line.com This new site is one of the tools we offer with our new Worry Help Phone Line, 1-866-WORRY4U. So now, we can help those with worry and stress through both humor and real down to earth assistance. So, if you have worry, give us a call. Lets us talk you through the issues and help find solutions.

Why worry?

What if I’m laid off? What if there’s a terrorist attack in my town? What if I flunk this test? What if they don’t like me? We’ve all heard such questions... questions regarding our lives that dwell on the worst-case scenario and haunt our minds like dank, malevolent spirits. Questions that eventually rob us of our joy, peace of mind and zest for life. Questions we know as worry. In a time where each day seems to bring headline news that’s worse than the day before, the presence of worry is understandable. Terrorist attacks and job layoffs aside, just coping in a fast-paced world with myriad demands on our time and attention can be rich soil for the seeds of worry. We wonder how we can keep our kids from falling prey to Internet pedophiles. We wonder how we can avoid defaulting on our home-equity loan. We wonder what we’ll do if our company follows the Enron road and we lose our retirement funds. But prolonged worry can be downright dangerous. It saps us of our mental and physical health, all while failing to solve a thing. Worry’s cousin, stress, is our body and mind’s reaction to the trials of daily life, whereas worry is what we think will happen to us. But the health consequences of the two are similar. "Chronic worry is linked to a variety of health problems," says Dr. Linda L. M. Worley, associ- ate professor in the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences’ department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences. Worry leads to stress, which turns on the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. These speed the heart up, increase the blood pressure, tense the muscles, activate the immune system and sometimes raise blood sugar. "All those things are helpful if somebody’s chasing you" or if you are in a life or death situation, Worley says. "The problem in our society is, we sometimes don’t let ourselves relax and have that tension subside." So the chronic worrier is then at risk for such diseases as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, atherosclerosis and, thanks to the cortisol, a suppressed immune system. A high cortisol level also increases abdominal fat and makes it harder to lose weight. "And then people turn to doing bad things to cope" such as substance abuse, overeating and drinking, Worley adds. Chronic worry can also can lead to memory problems, depression and chronic fatigue syndrome. SNOWBALL EFFECT The Web site of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland (anxietyandstress. com) describes worry as "a special form of fear." " To create worry, humans elongate fear with anticipation and memory, expand it in imagination, and fuel it with emotion, "according to the site. But experts agree that there is such a thing as" healthy worry, "aka concern. For instance, if a person’s doctor has told him that he is at increased risk for a disease, concern is what will lead him to do what he should to avoid contracting it. And if a person is" worried" about how he’ll do on a school examination, for instance, he is likely to study, and he is likely to be keyed up to do his best on the test. "So you really want to have the right amount of anxiety," Worley says. THOU SHALT NOT WORRY The distinction between "good" and "bad" worry can be seen in the doctrines of most religions, says Jay McDaniel, chairman of the religion department at Hendrix College at Conway. "[These] religions draw a distinction between worrying about the future in a compulsive way, and being naturally concerned with the future in a noncompulsive way," McDaniel says. "They help us find ways of being ‘centered’ in the present moment, so that we live from trust rather than fear. They give us confidence that, no matter what happens, we will have the inner resources to respond to what happens." Which is why turning to religion or spirituality is seen as one of the main refuges for worriers. "More specifically, [they turn] to practices such as scripture study and meditation, church-going and daily prayer, as anchors for daily life and moral compasses for a meaningful future," McDaniel says. When discussing worry, Christians often refer to Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God...." But the trust and confidence people show through religion doesn’t mean they will lead "worry-free" lives, McDaniel says. "Even enlightened Buddhists worry in normal, noncompulsive ways; so do sincere Jews, Muslims and Christians," he says. "... When they are true to the depths of their traditions, they find that they are not controlled or overwhelmed by worry." Different religions have different antidotes to unhealthy worry, McDaniel says. "Some people believe that worry is unnecessary because ‘everything that happens is meant to happen.’ They say that everything happens for a reason. They may attribute this reason to ‘God’s will’ or to ‘karma.’ Other people believe that some things happen by virtue of natural causes which have nothing to do with God’s will or even with karma. They do not believe that the future is pre-determined or pre-known by God, but rather that, whatever happens, God will provide resources to respond." The latter view is called process theology, which is endorsed by Christians, Jews and some Muslims and Buddhists, McDaniel says. "It says that even God is in process, along with the world, and that we can add to the world’s beauty by cooperating with God’s call to love. Healthy worry, then, is worry that cooperates in this way. It is worry rooted in love. Unhealthy worry is worry rooted in fear. The key, in all religions, is to replace fear-based worry with love-based concern, and to act on the latter." ALL IN YOUR HEAD Chronic worry can also be caused by factors that call for such remedies as medication, behavior modification and/or therapy. These include medical conditions such as hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism, particularly in women; dietary practices, such as drinking too much coffee; abuse of stimulants such as cocaine or methamphetamine; or attention deficit disorder, Worley says. Worry also is a factor in a host of psychological disorders, including panic disorder (panic attacks), social phobia (a profound fear of public speaking), obsessive compulsive disorder, anorexia nervosa, somatization disorder (multiple physical complaints, aches, etc., with no discernible medical cause), hypochondriasis and post traumatic stress disorder. Worry itself has been classified as a disorder: generalized anxiety disorder, or GAD, is defined as unfounded, exaggerated worry, anxiety and tension that goes on for six months or longer. Symptoms include restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension and sleep disturbance. Treatments for worry-related disorders include such prescription medications as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and Luvox. Unfortunately, many people just try to numb their reactions to these disorders by abusing alcohol or illegal drugs, Worley says. "It’s important to get treatment for that problem. " You should think about anxiety as a warning sign that you might be in danger. If you feel it... find out what’s causing it. "If you can’t figure that out, look at what you’re thinking. If your thoughts are distorted," it’s time to talk to somebody. " Less-serious worriers will find the world full of ways to combat their problem. Anti-worry measures include spas, books and tapes and various trinkets, such as stress balls and worry beads. Humor is another good way to combat worry... something to which Bonnie S. Burns will attest. Burns, of Phoenix, is president of The Worry Club. Its Web site, theworryclub. com, describes itself as a place" where someone else does your worrying. " A consultant and Web designer, Burns says The Worry Club began during a time when she found herself so stressed over job and personal issues that she was unable to sleep or eat. A friend suggested she build a Web site about worry." I was always known as ‘ the CEO of The Worry Club, ’" she says. Burns and several friends serve as the "professional worriers" of the fictional club, allowing visitors to take a load off. The site includes such features as stress-relief games; a link to Worry University — "Home of the Fighting Neurotics!" — a Worry Store; articles; recommended books; and a link for people to e-mail their worries. But the best way to combat worry may simply be to remember what is often quoted by those who seek to help worriers break the habit: Most of the things we worry about either don’t happen, are things in the past that can’t be changed, or are things that are simply beyond our control. "The thing is, each individual has to know what they can control," Burns says. "Most worry is caused from issues we have, and many can be worked on. But if all you do is worry and not look for solutions, you are doomed. Worry weakens the soul, and a worrier needs to find inner strength to fix the problems and issues." BY HELAINE R. WILLIAMS www.theworryclub.com worry, worry help, stress, help, worry phone help line, stop worry